|Dec. 24th, 2005 12:26 am ... Dear Crush....|
Hey, It's me again. As I see you more and more-- my feelings for you get somewhat stronger. I feel so wrong for liking you. I mean you have a girlfriend and you all's relationship seems to be going very well. But you know how like one special moment can change everything. Well I have had that special moment. And the more i reminence on that special moment-- the more I like you. I've even prayed about you. My philosphy is someone comes into your life for a special reason/season. But I don't kow if I am reading more into what i am feeling or what. I don't kow-- I am somewhat confused. Honestly-- just maybe-- we've met each other just to become good friends. I believe that special moment happend b/c maybe you needed reassurance about your relationship w/ your girlfriend. Who knows?-- I don't. But what I do know is this-- if you and I were ever together-- I would want it to be right. I would want to be a long lasting relationship. I would to connect w/ you in more ways than just physical(chemical) attraction. I would never do you wrong as one of your past relationships has gone that way. I want you to know that what I feel is genuine. Nothing about this is 'fake'. I used to think it was the 'high school hype' but it isn't. What I mean about the high school hype is that you can watch enough television and the high school scenes look so real, but they are surreal. And that's happend to me once in junior high--where fantasy got in the way of reality. I don't want that to happen again. I've been hurt-- I really wouldn't don't want that to happen again. Then again, I kinda set myself up for that hurt sooo it was 75 % my fault. So now i've 'built' this wall. Guys are on one side-- the wall-- then me. I haven't told you b/c i am afraid of getting hurt. I really wanna tell you-- but I am assuming that I already know your response---so there's no use. Anyway-- your relationship is thriving and I wouldn't want to do/say anything that would jeopardize that. So on that note-- I wanna say bye.
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